Hey there, Steve here and welcome to this week’s private eye post where I’ll walk you through the signs to look for if you think your husband is cheating.
Now, if you’re seriously considering that your husband is having some kind of fling, something must’ve triggered this reaction. It might have been something he’s said. Something someone else said. Or even your gut instinct kicking in and telling you something is wrong.
Whatever the reason, you’re probably on high-alert and scrutinising everything he says or does.
If you want to find out the truth, the best approach is to act normally so he has no idea you’re onto him. Should he pick up on your suspicions, he may become even more careful and make it difficult for you to ascertain the truth.
Here’s what to look for…
Disclaimer: This information is for general educational purposes only and may not apply to all situations — everyone is unique after all. For help with an individual situation, please contact us —the first call is free, and we may just be able to put your mind at rest!
#1 Appearance Improvements
Most people are likely to tell you to look for drastic changes. A new hairstyle. New clothes. Working out in the gym. In other words, really going to town on becoming a new man.
Of course, if you spot these signs, then it’s a surefire sign something is going on in his mind which is making him act this way. And it’s probable he’s trying to impress someone.
But in my experience, changes can also be much more subtle. Shaving more frequently. Trimming his nose hair more regularly. Generally paying more attention to how he looks, when before he wasn’t quite so interested.
It’s likely these are contributing to your gut instinct reactions.
#2 Behaviour Disarray
When people are married, they typically settle into routines. They have certain ways of doing things — both separately and when they’re together.
If he’s cheating his behaviour is likely to change because he will become (at least somewhat) distant from you and your marriage. It goes against human emotion to be emotionally invested in more than one person and one relationship at a time. How can he be emotionally intimate with you while he’s betraying your marriage trust?
It’s likely there will be arguments, criticisms, and he no longer tells you he loves you.
All human behaviour can be explained quite rationally when you understand the reasons and motivations behind a person’s actions.
Along with all of this, there may also be signs of guilt. Out of nowhere he showers you with affection and attention. It’s all an attempt to mask what’s really going on. And it can be highly confusing for the wife who sees these ups and downs.
#3 Unexplained Absences
A key part of any husband’s affair is making time for the other woman. Most affairs for men begin in the workplace. If he’s cheating with a co-worker you might see him spending more time at work — not just in the evenings but in the mornings too.
Has he started having a night or two out with friends or work mates? I’m not saying the occasional night, but rather regular nights each week on the same days at the same times.
Are you able to contact him during his lunch breaks? Or does he “go dark” for periods of the day — times when you’re simply unable to contact him?
Another type of unexplained absence is when you’re talking with your husband but his mind seems elsewhere. He’s not present.
#4 Thinking Time
Cheaters must also be liars. There are many different signs of lying. One of the most obvious is when you’re speaking with him and he can’t have a normal two-way conversation.
Usually when people are speaking the truth and have nothing to hide, they can instantly respond. Not so with a cheating husband.
It’s because he needs thinking time before he speaks. He has to remember the lies he’s told and ensure he doesn’t slip up. Conversation will feel stilted and unnatural.
Perhaps the best advice is to look for change across each of these four areas. Changes within your relationship. Changes in his behaviour. Changes in his manner of talking. And changes of his appearance.
Add it all up and it only points one way. To find out for sure, use our cheating partner investigations service. The first call is free and will be handled professionally, discretely and with compassion.
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Until next week,