Hey there, Steve here and welcome to this week’s private eye post. Today I will show you four ways to use time to detect lies in your partner’s story. Law enforcement organisations across the world use similar methods to find holes in people’s stories when they interview suspects.
Disclaimer: The methods I outline below will only show you that your partner is lying about how they have spent their time. It doesn’t mean they are cheating on you. They may not be lying intentionally either. Accurate recollection of time and events varies by individual. If you suspect your partner of cheating, please seek our help by contacting us, or use the live chat feature on this page.
#1 Time Off
Cheaters need to ‘make time’ for their adulterous activities. One of the most common forms of gaining time is to pretend they are working extra hours. This doesn’t always mean ‘working late.’ It can also be ‘working early.’ Sure, everyone puts in a few extra hours occasionally. Does it seem like your partner is always working, with no time off for you? You have every right to be concerned.
#2 Routine Times
We’re all wired differently but the majority of people are highly predictable in their routine. Most people get up at the same time every day. We follow the same “mini routines.” Then we go to bed at the same time each night. So when your partner breaks their routines, there must be a reason for them to do so. Even the smallest change will have meaning. For example, imagine your partner normally takes 20 minutes to follow their morning “get-ready” routine but today they spend 45 minutes perfecting their look. Why have they spent so long? Are they giving a presentation at work? Are they up for a promotional interview? It could also mean they want to impress someone they’re interested in. There is always a reason.
#3 Time Adds Up
As well as breaking their routines, a person who is cheating will use other activity to cover what they’re up to. Usually this means taking much longer to do something than normal. I had one case where the husband was taking the dog for an evening walk for over an hour twice a week. He usually only took 20 minutes. He was cheating on those 2 days.
#4 Pieces Of Time
If you can put together a timeline of events, you can quickly ascertain if someone’s story doesn’t add up. When law enforcement do this, they’re usually in an interview process and it makes sense for them to be asking questions. They never interrupt someone who is talking. They let them say everything they want to say, so they can pick holes in it later. If you want to stand a chance of getting all the information you need without your partner feeling like you’re interrogating them, you’ll need to practise the same things. Patience is the name of the game.
Time. It’s the one thing the cheater can’t get enough of. All lies stem from justifying how time has been spent because it’s impossible to create time. So, if you focus on timelines, you can often work out when someone is lying.
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Until next week,