Hey there, Steve here and welcome to this week’s private eye post, where I’m going to cover the mains signs of lying in a cheating husband.
Before I get into the 3 areas to consider — body language, verbal signs and overall behaviour — it’s important to consider why someone might be lying to you in the first place. Just because hubby is being deceitful, doesn’t necessarily mean he’s cheated.
Why People Lie
Most people lie to avoid some sort of conflict. Conflict comes in various forms. It could be that he wants to protect your feelings, or to avoid feeling embarrassed. Some people embellish the truth to make themselves look good, or appear cleverer, special or somehow better than they really are. Of course, he may also want to hide something he did or did not do — even if that wasn’t cheating. He may want to stay in control, and avoid some real or imagined consequences of his behaviour.
Signs of lying can also be easily misinterpreted. There may be a different reason for a particular behaviour than the one you imagine to be correct. Think of the childhood game where one person whispers something into the next person’s ear, and they say what they thought they heard to the next person. It doesn’t take long before the original words are completely altered beyond recognition. To successfully interpret someone completely it’s vital to be emotionally detached from the situation. That way you can consider all possible reasons behind a particular behaviour—something not very likely if you think your husband is cheating on you!
So, I encourage you to remain calm, listen and observe everything, and consider all possible reasons “why” he might have behave in a particular manner before making any judgement. In fact, if you have suspicions about his fidelity, you’d be far better off hiring Elite Investigations to professionally investigate for you.
Also, in isolation one behaviour doesn’t tell you much. Clusters of behaviours are much more meaningful.
OK, let’s get into it…
This information is for general educational purposes only and may not apply to all situations — everyone is unique after all. For help with an individual situation, please contact us or use the live chat feature [when available] on this page—the first call is free, and we may just be able to put your mind at rest!
Body Language Giveaways
- Won’t touch you while talking to you
- Use of a barrier such as placing a chair or cushion in front of himself
- A sweaty brow in a cool environment
- Touching chin, touching nose or rubbing his eyebrow
- Crossed arms and/or crossed legs
- Body language and facial expressions are a mismatch: e.g. saying “no”, but nodding his head
- He slouches while talking to you (making himself look smaller)
- Anxious and fidgety
- Unnatural arm and hand movements (or not moving them all when he does normally.)
- Lack of eye contact. Either staring straight past you, or turning away while talking.
- Continues to deny accusations
- Is way too detailed — gives way more information than necessary.
- Inconsistent in what he’s saying
- Hesitant in the way he talks
- Strange vocal fluctuations, uses weird choice of words or sentence structure.
- Frequently stalls with words like “um” or “you know” — gives himself time to think
- Says things like “did not” instead of “didn’t”
- He’s extremely defensive
- He has an air of smugness
- He’s unnaturally calm
- Is acting in a way you don’t normally see him act
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Until next week,