Signs Of Deceit In A Cheat — How To “Hear” A Lying Spouse

Hey there, Steve here and welcome to this week’s private eye post. In previous posts, I documented specific verbal clues of cheating men and women, that you can listen for when they speak with you.

I’ve linked to these articles at the bottom of this post. But today, I’m going to focus on a different aspect of deceit detection, and how to hear the overall “frames” of their conversation.

Disclaimer: This information is for general educational purposes only and may not apply to all situations — everyone is unique after all. For help with an individual situation, please contact us or use the live chat feature (when available) on this page.

#1 Manage Your Bias

Of course, people who lie can also tell the truth in certain answers. By bombarding you with truthful info, you’re more likely to be “on their side” and this waters down your ability to detect when they lie. This is even more of a problem when it’s your husband or wife — the one person in the world that you’re supposed to be able to trust explicitly. To guard against this, you must be able to apply a filter, and take each response on its own merit. You want to deal with the trickle of lies, and not the waterfall of overall information.

#2 Failure To Deny

Lying is uncomfortable and us mere mortals will do anything to avoid discomfort. So, the most important thing to listen for is a direct denial. Guilty people will “dance” around denial, or say things like, “not really.” If they don’t flat out deny the accusation when they respond, they’re highly likely to be lying.

#3 Convey or Convince.

“Did you have sex with XXXX?”

A simple yes or no would instantly convey the answer. But if your partner goes off into a monologue of how they’re a good husband/wife, and they would never cheat, why would they cheat in such a great marriage when they love you so much, and that they would never would want to do anything to jeopardise their relationship, they are trying to convince you instead of simply conveying information.

#4 The Half-A-Question Instant Response

You only uttered the first few words of your sentence and they’re instantly responding with their answer, almost as if they want to prevent you from finishing the sentence. Like they know where the conversation is going and they want to forcefully defend their position. You will likely notice a change in body language at the same time as part of this defence.


The overall frame of how they’re responding makes it easier to spot a lies in a cheating partner. You can also get more verbal clues of deceit at the links below.

Follow us on Facebook for more information on signs deceit in a cheat, and how to get help if you think you need to.

Until next week,



5 ‘Dumb’ Verbal Clues From Men Who Cheat

Caught Red-Handed: 5 Verbal Clues To Detecting Deceit In Men Who Cheat