Steve here and today’s post will look at some verbal clues which are commonly reported to us by women who think their man is cheating on them. For additional information in spotting liars and cheats, you should check out my post on signs of a cheating partner.
Warning: Any one of these verbal clues in isolation can be perfectly innocent. You should always look for ‘clusters’ of signals.
OK let’s dive in…
#1 – You look great.
When men are cheating, a large percentage of them experience guilt. One of the ways they feel they can ‘offset’ some of that guilt, is by building you up. So if your man suddenly starts throwing out compliments, especially in front of friends and family, you would be right to be suspicious. Deep down men believe that by making you feel better, they can feel better about their cheating actions. It’s also a great tactic to use in front of friends and family, so no-one would ever think something was wrong. This is where the shock and surprise comes from when a cheat is uncovered.
#2 – She’s just a friend but you can’t meet her.
The human brain finds it hard to be deceitful and this can manifest by a man talking about the person he’s having an affair with. Usually, the story will start innocently enough and ‘her’ name will be mentioned. When you ask who ‘she’ is, he replies ‘just a friend.’ If you ask if you can meet her, the answer will be no. He might say something like “she’s not a close friend, more of an acquaintance” or something along those lines. In any case, there will be a relatively flimsy reason why you can’t meet her.
#3 – Are you cheating on me?
As if being cheated on isn’t cruel enough, men often try to throw you off the scent by accusing you of doing exactly what they are – cheating! If you find yourself suddenly playing the ‘blame game’, and there’s no reason for him to be accusing you cheating, then you should take a close look at what’s going on in your relationship.
#4 – Why plans changed?
When men are cheating, they obviously have to lie about their whereabouts. The longer an affair goes on, the more lies he has to tell. At some point, you’ll end up in a situation where you’ll discover that he wasn’t where he said he was. The question is ‘why did your plans change?’
Because he wasn’t expecting to be caught out, the excuses given here are usually not well thought through. Why didn’t he let you know the plans had changed when they changed? If you keep finding out his movements are different to what you expected, but he doesn’t tell you unless you discover the changes yourself, then you have every right to be suspicious.
#5 – Wrong name
The ultimate sin. Calling you by ‘her’ name. Sure he’ll have a reason but it won’t be a good one.
For more information check out our page on cheating spouse or partner investigations.