Hey there, Steve here and welcome to this week’s private eye post. A common reason we’re called in for a potential cheating spouse investigation, is when work necessitates a long distance relationship. Mining work is a good example—typically workers are on shift for a couple of weeks, then back home for a short period, and so on.
We frequently get called for investigations by both sides—the worker who is away, and the person left at home. They can’t always put their finger on the exact reason they suspect something is awry, but they instinctively feel something is wrong.
In today’s post, I’ll run through the long distance cheating signs that might trigger your gut instinct warning bells.
Disclaimer: This information is for general educational purposes only and may not apply to all situations — everyone is unique after all. For help with an individual situation, please contact us or use the live chat feature [when available] on this page—the first call is free, and we may just be able to put your mind at rest!
#1 Consistently Unreachable
Most people spend their days doing things—not sitting around waiting for someone to call them. So, when you call your spouse, it’s perfectly natural for them to be in the middle of something. Usually they can take your call, tell you that they can’t talk right now, and explain quickly why, and then arrange to call you back. But if you constantly get voicemail as they’re unreachable, you have to wonder why they can’t give you the 30 seconds you need. I’m not talking about during business hours—that’s understandable sometimes—but instead the dreaded “no answer” you get during their down time.
#2 Preferring the Phone
In this day and age, video calls on FaceTime, Skype, Facebook and many other apps are easily achievable. The problem for the cheater is that they’ll have the same body language giveaways as if they’re face to face with you. For this reason, people engaged in affairs often prefer to talk on the phone. They’ll make excuses like the connection isn’t good enough, but why won’t they at least try? Especially if the WiFi has previously always been good enough.
#3 Daily Chat
Some days there are more things to talk about than others. Couples can spend hours talking about little things that have happened to them, how they felt about it, making plans for the future and all the small, intimate things that are the building blocks of a solid relationship. But, if they aren’t sharing as much as before, it’s because their time has been spent doing something, or with someone, they don’t want to tell you about.
#4 Frequency Decency
When couples first start long distance, they often start off by speaking each day for quite some time. Naturally this usually adjusts over time to some pattern that’s much more manageable for both parties. A quick 5-10 minute check-in every day, and maybe a couple of longer sessions each week would be fairly normal. But if you find that the frequency of those decent catch-ups continues to dwindle beyond that, or it seems like your partner doesn’t have much to say on those catch-ups, you should start to question the reason why.
Long distance relationships are hard work. There’s no point in pretending otherwise. Making time for your partner is crucial, and you need to be realistic in how often you can talk together. It can feel worse if one partner is much busier than the other during the day too.
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Until next week,