How to make it through a separation/divorce

Separating from your partner is difficult. There will be lots of hard times and unfamiliar territory. Follow these tips to help you get through it and come out the other side with hope for the future.

Get a support network
A friend or family member who you can lean on will get you far in this tough time. It’s very important to find someone who you can talk to when you need to, someone who can keep you company when you’re feeling lonely. Separating with your partner, especially if you’ve been together a long time, will mean a drastic change to your lifestyle. You’ll be alone more often, and a lot of things that your wife or husband used to do or that you used to do together you’ll now need to do by yourself. Having a support network will help you get through and will give you that little extra help when things seem to hard.

Be ready to argue your case
Depending where you are in the separation or divorce, there could still be a way to go. Separation of assets, custody arrangements if you have kids, and a whole slew of other things will need to happen. You need to be ready to fight for what you deserve. You’ll need a good lawyer, but you may also need to know the truth your soon-to-be ex partner. While proof of cheating isn’t needed for divorce settlements anymore, if you’re looking at custody of children, or think your partner is doing something shady to cheat you out of what’s rightfully yours, you may find it worth hiring a private investigator to find out the truth. Knowledge is power, and the more you have of both in a separation or divorce, the better off you’ll be.

Cut yourself some slack
As you go through this difficult time, you might find yourself feeling bad about your reaction to the situation. You may find yourself eating more (comfort eating) or unable to find the energy to do the washing. You may be ordering take away every night, declining invitations to events and not catching up with as many people, or skipping your usual workouts. You need to remind yourself that this is all perfectly OK! You are going through a hard time, and the last thing you need is your inner voice berating yourself. Allow yourself some wiggle room as you go through this transition.

Plan a budget
Your finances are definitely going to be affected. Going from two incomes to one is going to take some getting used to. Writing out all your expenses and giving yourself a budget will make it a lot easier and reduce the financial stress. Even if your situation isn’t the best, knowing that you have a plan will make it easier and less stressful.

Go through the seven stages of grief if you need to
Shock, denial, guilt, anger, bargaining, sadness, acceptance and hope – these 7 stages are typical when going through a life changing scenario. If you find yourself experiencing these emotions, run with them! If you try to fight your feelings, you’ll just make it harder to reach acceptance and truly move on. The search for hope and happiness after a divorce is the last step in a long process. Just go with it and you’ll be feeling better in no time!


The detectives here at Elite Investigations are the epitome of professionalism, and can get you the truth you need. We can help you with your concerns, whatever they are, and have helped many clients in divorce and separation situations. Discretion, sensitivity and a commitment to finding the truth is our promise to you. If you’d like to arm yourself with the truth going into your divorce, give us a call on give us a call on 1300 721 715 or email