Great News – Farts Are Good For You!

A recent scientific investigation has discovered that smelling farts is actually good for us – yes, really, a scientist said it!

Private investigators have a lot of time to scan Facebook and read the news. We also spend too much time in our cars, and during Sydney/Melbourne winter, no one wants to crack a window. Until someone farts. And it doesn’t take a private detective to work out who it was when there’s only two of you in the car.

So this news made my day: How farts could save your life.

While our detective instincts have to admit to being suspicious, it was worth reading on to discover that it’s actually not a load of fluff (get it, get it?).

And if you think this investigator has been fooled, and you still don’t in the greatness of farts, look: it was even in TIME magazine.

The low down on this – because I had to investigate this further, given I’ll no doubt need it as a defence in the not too distant future – is that the noxious smelling gas we fart out contains hydrogen sulphide, which in small amounts (like a fart) has been found to maintain the health of our mitochondria, which is a key part in many of our cells. By supporting our mitochondria, fart gas could protect us from health problems like dementia, cancer and stroke. And best of all – it also helps with diabetes.

Say what? Hey Detective, give me back that donut! And yes, this investigator WILL have the full cream coffee I’ve been craving. No more of that light milk crap for me! Let me tell you, being a Sydney/Melbourne private detective just isn’t possible without good coffee and the occasional naughty sweet treat (i.e. every few hours).

So the next time my investigator partner and I are out on surveillance, I’ll make sure he knows how much good I’m doing him by eating all the delicious food that makes me gassy.

Scientists are even investigating a way to turn hydrogen sulphide (aka. fart gas) into a compound that specifically delivers the gas to our cells. Yep, this is serious stuff.

So, if someone complains about the stinker you just let off, you only need to say this – “Your mitochondria can thank me later, mate.”