Fling or Affair? What your partner is up to…

Sometimes, the question isn’t ‘is my partner cheating?’, but more ‘is it a one time thing?’. If you know that your partner has cheated, but want to know just how bad the situation is, read on for some behaviours that could give you an indication of whether the cheating was a quick, meaningless fling, or a full blown affair.

Obviously, you hope that your partner never cheats on you. Infidelity hurts, and it’s the ultimate betrayal in a monogamous relationship. But sometimes, things don’t exactly go to plan. If you’ve found out that something os going on behind your back, you may want to know exactly how bad the situation is before deciding what to do.

If it’s a fling…

The thing about cheating is that sometimes it’s just an opportunistic lack of judgment. Your partner may have been feeling vulnerable, been seduced by someone they found very attractive, or just made a very bad decision that they really regret. There are signs to watch out for that could indicate it was a one time thing. If you know the cheating happened at a party or while your partner was very drunk, this could indicate it was a mistake that happened in the heat of the moment. If your partner comes to you with the information, and seems really torn up by it, it probably is a one time thing. If it was an affair they wouldn’t risk telling you, but if it’s truly in the past and they really regret it then it’s likely a one time thing. Also, if they don’t really know the person that they cheated on you with (such as a stranger at a bar) then it’s very unlikely that the cheating was a full blown affair, but more likely a one time fling that just happened in the moment.

If it’s an affair…

Affairs are a different ball park altogether. Affairs are a continuous relationship, either emotional or sexual (or both) with repeated behaviour and planning. You don’t just ‘accidentally’ have an affair. There are a few tell-tale signs to see if it’s an affair. If the person they cheated on you with is someone they know or see regularly (like a friend or an assistant) it’s likely that this was something that they both knew they were doing. Also, if the cheating required some kind of ruse or lie (such as pretending to work overtime, or booking a hotel room) then this shows that there was forethought and planning. More than likely this wasn’t a one time thing. Also, if you sense that there’s some kind of emotional connection, like if you know the two get along really well, then there’s more than likely involved in an emotional affair.

What can you do?

Either way, cheating is a betrayal of your trust, so you don’t have to forgive your partner even if it was a once-of fling. However, if you are considering forgiving your partner or staying with them, it may make all the difference to know whether they made a mistake or knowingly and repeatedly betrayed your trust by having an affair. If this kind of knowledge matters to you, consider hiring a private investigator. By running surveillance on your cheating partner, we can catch any affairs in progress and get footage of the infidelity to show you what the truth of the matter really is.

To see what a detective can do for you, call Elite Investigations and discuss your situation. Our experienced investigators can help you find out exactly what your cheating partner is up to! Contact us on 1300 721 715 or email