Hey there, Steve here and welcome to this week’s private eye post where we’ll take a look at the body language of cheaters.
While there are numerous and highly obvious small signs of cheating a trained body language professional can see in a cheat, there are some general signals that are much easier to spot. These behaviours are much easier to notice and will be the focus for this post.
Disclaimer: This information is for general educational purposes only and may not apply to all situations — everyone is unique after all. For help with an individual situation, please contact us —the first call is free, and we may just be able to put your mind at rest!
#1 The Body Barrier
The first body language behaviour to look for is a cheat or liar placing a barrier between the two of you. This can be crossed arms, a cushion, or for women a handbag. But it can be a smaller item, such as a drink or even a set of keys on a table. What you’re trying to identify is how someone protects their personal space, and if that personal space is congruent with the amount the person in question usually requires when speaking with you.
#2 The Point Away
All of us have an inbuilt fight-or-flight response. When we’re unhappy with a situation we try and get away from it as quickly as we can. In the modern world, the cheat can’t just start running away from their partner when they don’t like the conversation. But the natural reaction is still there and so the cheat will take the first step of running—and that’s to turn away from their partner. They may turn their whole body away, or more likely, point their feet in the direction they want to run.
#3 Genuine Incongruence
Everyone has witnessed what it looks like when someone is not happy with a situation but is putting on a brave face and saying, “Everything’s fine.” Well, the same thing happens with body language. The cheat can be saying one thing but their body is saying something completely different. A fake smile. Crossing arms to get defensive. “Ants in the pants” when supposedly relaxing. The key to spotting this type of incongruence is to listen carefully to the words being spoken and watch how the body language changes as they talk.
#4 The Wrong Touch
Humans are social animals and touch is a large part of our bonding experience. It’s highly important to us and our relationships. For cheaters, the body language of touch changes in two main ways.
Firstly, a cheating partner will not want to touch the person they’re cheating on as much. This is because they don’t feel as close to you as they would normally.
Secondly, they will touch themselves much more frequently. These types of touches are likely to be caressing—they’re called soothing gestures—and they’re typically unconscious behaviours which attempt to relax the cheat.
Rather than focus on small and often ambiguous body language signals, look for the larger interpretations of space and relaxation. Anyone who is trying to distance themselves from you, and who doesn’t want to touch you, must feel uncomfortable with the situation they’re in.
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Until next week,