Hey there, Steve here and welcome to this week’s private eye post where I’m going to share with you some highly-informative (and sometimes surprising) answers to hard-to-answer cheating questions.
I’m often asked lots of things about cheating by all manner of people from all walks of life. The questions typically consist of ways to uncover or catch a cheating partner, or to verify in some way the signs of cheating.
But there are 3 questions I always struggle to answer. Today I’m going to do my very best to provide the answers to those questions.
Disclaimer: This information is for general educational purposes only and may not apply to all situations — everyone is unique after all. For help with an individual situation, please contact us —the first call is free, and we may just be able to put your mind at rest!
Why do people cheat?
When people ask me this question, they’re often asking from a personal viewpoint. In other words, they’ll say something like, “Why would he cheat on me? We enjoy our time together, have a healthy sex life, and everything feels good in our marriage.”
Well, the reasons people cheat are vast and can vary by gender but the best answers I could uncover came from Very Well Mind…
Frustration in the marriage is one common trigger; the cheater may make several attempts to solve problems to no avail. Maybe they had second thoughts about getting married or they were jealous over the attention given to a new baby and neither had the skill set to communicate these feelings. Perhaps the straying spouse has childhood baggage — neglect, abuse, or a parent who cheated — that interferes with his or her ability to maintain a committed relationship. Less often, the cheater doesn’t value monogamy, lacks empathy, or simply doesn’t care about the consequences.
What’s cheating and what’s not cheating (what’s acceptable behaviour and what’s not)?
Whether it’s full-blown intercourse or a lingering french kiss, I think everyone is in agreement that enjoying physical intimacy with another person is cheating. But that’s where the clarity ends. Emotional affairs are rife and porn addiction cases have never been higher—both of which are considered cheating by some.
In the search of a definitive answer, I came across an article on Bustle, where 8 relationship experts share their opinions on what’s cheating and what’s not. Spending time alone with someone of the opposite sex is deemed cheating by a surprisingly large number of both men and women—something I’ve personally experienced in a number of investigations.
Read their opinions and see where your boundaries lie here: https://www.bustle.com/p/8-relationship-experts-define-cheating-15823813
Is my wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend likely to cheat on me?
Nearly every investigation we do has an element of this question lurking inside it. It usually starts with, “Is my partner likely to be cheating on me?” and is often accompanied by, “Why would they feel the need to cheat on me?”
When people I know ask me this question, they’re trying to avoid some future cheating catastrophe. The problem is, as you just learned from the 8 relationship experts, everyone has a different answer to the question, “what’s cheating and what’s not?”
Perhaps the easiest way to answer this question is to look for the statistical likelihood and combine that with the observed habits of cheaters.
Let’s start with the habits of cheaters, which you can read here: https://www.insider.com/habits-cheaters-have-2018-9
And then go see if your partner falls into one of the high-risk cheating categories based on statistics here: https://www.eliteinvestigations.com.au/cheater-person-likely-dirty/
While researching for this post, I came across an extremely well-written and up-to-date article by the BBC.
I discovered that just 5% of people think their partner is likely to cheat on them, but estimates at the higher end put this figure at a whopping 68%.
The statistic which didn’t surprise me based on our work is that both men and women now cheat as often as each other.
Follow us on Facebook for more answers to your questions about cheating and how to get help if you think you need to.
Until next week,