What to do if there are children involved…

Sadly, finding out your partner is cheating is a horrible experience. You’re likely thinking about what to do, whether you should leave your partner and, if you’re married, maybe getting a divorce. But what if there are children involved?

Finding out about infidelity when you have children together leaves you a lot more to consider. Firstly, you need to think about how to confront your spouse or partner. Do you do it when the kids are home? Do you send them out so you can hash it out without them seeing? Studies have shown that arguing in front of children can be extremely traumatic for them. The odd bickering is fine, but a full blown argument, like the one that might occur when confronting your partner about an affair, are best left behind closed doors. Maybe send the kids to a relative’s house, or out to the movies with friends. That gives you time to confront your partner in privacy, showing them the evidence your private investigator has obtained through their surveillance and getting them to face the issue.

Then, once you’ve confronted your cheating partner, comes the decision on whether to stay together or not. While some people say that cheating is a deal breaker, others find that they can forgive under some circumstances. Regardless of your stance, once their are kids involved people generally feel pressure to stay together. If you can reconcile with your cheating partner and build back trust (maybe through marriage counselling) then it is good for the kids to have a stable family. However, if the relationship is over but you’re not separating just because of the kids, then you could be doing more harm than good. Children are very perceptive, and they can tell when you’re arguing, picking on each other, and just generally feeling hostile towards your partner. If you can’t reconcile your differences, it’s much better to separate than have you kids living through an environment of arguments and anger.

Then you need to figure out what to say to the kids. Do you explain what has happened? If they’re too young to understand what an affair is, you might not want to introduce the idea to them. Also, the main thing that needs to happen is that they feel safe and loved. If they think one parent doesn’t love and respect the other, they may worry that the cheating parent doesn’t love them, either. When telling kids about a cheating partner, try to keep the focus on them and how much you both love them.

In the end, having kids as part of the equation with a cheating husband, cheating wife or cheating partner only changes how you approach the situation with the children. How you deal with the affair itself is up to you.

If you have suspicions about your partner cheating, our detectives can help you get the necessary proof. If you have your suspicions, please call us today to speak with one of our discreet detectives. We have the highest degree of experience and skill, and know how to get you the truth while keeping your suspicions discreet. If you have doubts about a potential cheating partner or spouse, you deserve to know the truth! Give us a call on 1300 721 715 or email info@eliteinvestigations.com.au for an obligation free chat to see if we can help.