Spot Negative Body Language In Your Relationship

Hey there, Steve here and welcome to this week’s private eye post where I’m going to discuss one of the biggest triggers of gut instinct — negative body language in relationships.

What is negative body language?

Before we get into some of the specifics let’s talk about negativity in general. Body language is usually unconscious and mirrors how we’re feeling inside. Sadness, lack of confidence, boredom, being on edge, and anger are the main negative emotions that are often portrayed.

Obviously, none of these are good for any relationship — but especially with your partner or spouse. The overall impression is they are “removed” from your relationship. Closed instead of open.

And you should look to see if this is an “all the time” thing, or when you’re speaking about specific topics.

Let’s dive in…


Disclaimer: This information is for general educational purposes only and may not apply to all situations — everyone is unique. For help with an individual situation, please contact us —the first call is free, and we may just be able to put your mind at rest!


#1 Attention Deficit

Does your partner give you their undivided attention when you’re talking to them? Or are they busy multi-tasking with their phone or something else?

Sure, they may occasionally do more than one thing at a time. But if you notice a trend where they find something to do when you’re around it could spell trouble in your relationship.

If they do this all the time, then their focus is on other things and not you. If they do this only when you’re trying to talk about specific things, it might mean they’re trying to avoid the conversation.

#2 The Wrong Arm

Pay attention to this one, as it’s not something many people are aware of…

Most people do some of their talking with hand and arm gestures. Look at how your partner normally does this. Usually, right-handed people will gesture more with their right hand. Left-handed people do the opposite.

If you’re conversing with your significant other, and you notice they’re using their left arm more (for right-handed people) it can mean they’re not being fully honest with you. This is especially true if they touch their face, ear, or eye while speaking.


#3 Crossing Arms or Legs

Everyone has heard about crossed arms and legs, meaning the person you’re speaking with has become defensive. But it has to be taken in context.

So, if you’re having a conversation and you notice the change to crossed arms/legs, it means your partner is closing off to you. Mentally, physically and emotionally.


#4 Feet Pointing

Probably the most reliable body language indicators are the feet. The feet point in the direction we want to go. And when we’re engaging with someone, our feet will naturally point towards them.

If your spouse points their feet away from you when you’re speaking with them, it means they don’t want to have this conversation with you.

Is this happening when you try to talk about a particular subject? Or is it happening every time you talk?

You know they’re uneasy about something specific if it’s a particular subject. If it’s all the time, it might mean your relationship is in serious waters.


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Until next week,