Misdirection & Deception — 4 Common Ploys Of A Cheating Spouse

Hey there, Steve here and welcome to this week’s private eye post, where I’m going to cover 4 common ploys of a cheating partner.

The four ploys relate to two main areas of focus for the cheat. The first is creating time and space for their adulterous ways. The second is to attempt to reduce the risk of you catching on that something is wrong.

Disclaimer: This information is for general educational purposes only and may not apply to all situations — everyone is unique after all. For help with an individual situation, please contact us or use the live chat feature [when available] on this page—the first call is free, and we may just be able to put your mind at rest!

Common Ploy #1 — Strange, Over-The-Top, Affection

The first ploy is to make attempts to increase your perception that your relationship is “all good.” Usually the attempts are crude and obvious, because that’s not what they’re really feeling inside. If you know the person they’re having an affair with, a cheat may also put down that person, say derogatory things about them. This is all in an effort to eliminate your suspicions.

Common Ploy #2 Work Changes

Using work as an excuse is one of the most common ploys to create time for an affair. If your husband’s working hours increase, run late into the evening, then you should be concerned. The newly popular work ploy is to start much earlier — yes that’s right, people are having affairs early in the morning to avoid suspicion. Of course, there may be other reasons for their longer hours, but if they’re vague when ask about their work, it’s time to give us a call.

Common Ploy #3 Table Turning

It’s almost laughable the frequency at which we hear cheaters accuse their partner of infidelity. A big red flag, and from experience, I’d say 90% sure the accuser is cheating themselves.

Common Ploy #4 Two Plus Two Equals Five

Cheats have a major problem. Creating time apart from you and then accounting for it. This necessarily results in a change in his behaviour and most probably his daily routine. You’ll start to realise that things aren’t quite adding up. This is one of the “gut instinct” triggers for many spouses who are cheated on. Sure, the occasional variation is expected, but humans are creatures of habit. When things keep happening, the weight of all the occurrences is the thing that tells you something isn’t right.


We see one or more of these ploys in almost all our cheating partner investigations. It can really help to keep a record of everything you suspect, so that when you look at everything in black and white, you can more easily tell if it’s just life’s bumpy road of normal change, or if there seems to be more going on.

Follow us on Facebook for more information on ploys, tactics and strategies of cheats, and how to get help if you think you need to.

Until next week,