Talk or Treachery? 4 Common Signs She’s Having An Emotional Affair

Hey there, Steve here and welcome to this week’s private eye post, where I go over 4 common signs your girlfriend or wife is cheating on you, by having an emotional affair.

As I have discussed previously, women and men are typically different in how they start their adulterous behaviour. It’s usual that a woman will begin an emotional affair, usually without the intent of physical intimacy, but then later on down the line, cross that line and begin full-blown cheating.

Sometimes, in fact quite often, the woman won’t realise that she’s having an emotional affair—so it’s important you learn to spot the signs for yourself.

Disclaimer: This information is for general educational purposes only and may not apply to all situations. Everyone is unique after all. For help with an individual situation, please contact us or use the live chat feature [when available] on this page. The first call is free, and we may just be able to put your mind at rest!

#1 Critical Concentration

Ever feel like she’s started attacking you for no real reason? Is she quick to criticise your appearance? Does she get mad at something no reasonable person would even bother about? If she can’t stop concentrating on criticising you for everything you do, this is a sign that things aren’t right in your relationship. In the case of an emotional affair, she will do this for one of two reasons. The first is that she’s feeling guilty and is taking out how she feels on you. The second is that she’s comparing the fantasy between you both—and you’ll never win against a fantasy!

#2 Wrapped In Kid Gloves

The grass is always greener on the other side. In an emotional affair this manifests by your woman always talking about the man she’s emotionally involved with, as if he’s perfect in every way. If you say something about him, and she gets defensive on his behalf, it’s a sure sign things have gone too far.

#3 Keeping Up Appearances

Everyone wants to look good. But let’s say you notice that when she goes to work, she’s upped her game on the appearance front, then you have to wonder why? New make-up, new perfume, and new outfits? Who is she trying to impress? Who is she trying to look good for? It doesn’t mean she’s cheating—yet! She could be doing this in an almost subconscious fashion. She looks forward to the deep conversations, and without realising it, she’s taking better care of herself.

#4 Energy Leak

An emotional affair means she’s busy talking with another man on a deep and meaningful level. Perhaps discussing her plans for the future, and how she feels about things that are going in her life. Her hopes, dreams and fears. Talking to him about this stuff takes time and energy. She’s essentially investing in her relationship with the other guy. You’ll feel like there’s an energy leak in your relationship. The old phrase, “the spark has gone,” is how it will feel.


Emotional affairs can be devastating. They are responsible for wrecking more marriages than I care to count and are the usual prelude to a physical affair. Watch out for the signs and aim to spend more time on your relationship so she doesn’t need to find emotional fulfillment elsewhere.

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Until next week,