Hey there, Steve here and welcome to this week’s private eye post where we’re going to take a look over affair withdrawal symptoms and why you might confuse them with signs of cheating.
Why this post?
Well, sometimes a person will hire us to investigate because they think their spouse is cheating. And the reason for this belief that their husband or wife is up to no good, is because of recent negative changes in the marriage relationship.
In certain investigations, what we’ve actually uncovered is the spouse has previously been cheating and is now displaying the signs of affair withdrawal symptoms.
Disclaimer: This information is for general educational purposes only and may not apply to all situations — everyone is unique after all. For help with an individual situation, please contact us —the first call is free, and we may just be able to put your mind at rest!
#1 Affair Addiction
When affairs begin, it’s often like the honeymoon period but much more intense.
There’s lots satiation in the guilty pleasures with the added excitement of “getting away with something”, shared with just one other person.
The euphoric feeling is similar to falling deeply in love with someone and the brain gets healthy doses of dopamine and oxytocin.
It’s highly addictive and one of the reasons many cheaters become serial cheats.
#2 Why Affairs End
There are many different reasons why an affair can end but they all boil down to three main categories:
- The affair is discovered by the cheated-on spouse in some way
- The cheating spouse breaks it off for some reason
- The “other man” or “other woman” breaks it off for some reason
- They move away
- They meet someone else
Now, if you’ve discovered the affair and are working on your marriage, understanding there will be withdrawal symptoms is important and part of the healing process. (It’s best you speak with a therapist to work through these issues.)
In the other two cases, whether it was your spouse or the person they were carrying on an affair with, who broke things off, there will likely be affair withdrawal symptoms.
And the reason is that it’s the affair they “got their kicks” from and not the other person. Even if they thought they were in love with the other person!
(This is why when affairs end in divorce and the re-marriage of the cheaters, one or both parties have new affairs.)
#3 The Emotions of Withdrawal
With the understanding of the reasons behind the euphoric feelings of an affair, it should come as no surprise that becoming “clean” is similar to kicking a drug habit.
Affair withdrawal symptoms include depression, anxiousness and anger.
Like any “comedown” the symptoms are more intense for the first few weeks and then subside over time
Any partaking of an “affair drug” will result in being set back to the beginning again — just like any other drug addiction.
#4 Confusing Affair Withdrawal Symptoms With Signs Of Cheating
So, let’s look at why might you confuse affair withdrawal symptoms with signs that your spouse is cheating.
Up until now, if your spouse has been fairly happy in day-to-day life, they will suddenly become withdrawn. Communication between you both will feel strained, difficult and negative. They will try to distance themselves from you while they suffer through the withdrawal symptoms.
Naturally, this can lead you to believe something is wrong. And their reluctance to speak with you about it can result in you thinking they’re cheating.
It’s almost like they “get caught out” after the affair has finished!
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Until next week,