4 Key Differences Between Cheating Wives And Cheating Husbands

Hey there, Steve here and welcome to this week’s private eye post where I talk through the differences between husbands and wives who have affairs. These are my observations based on many years of being a private investigator. I have also found some information from studies conducted in the USA that correlates with my understanding.

Disclaimer: The information is for general information purposes only, and shouldn’t be taken as advice in any way for your situation. I am of course generalising my observations. Some women and men will not conform to these generalisations. If you need help, please don’t hesitate to contact me using the live chat on this page, or contact me here.

#1 Do You Still Love Me?

As the book title reads, “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.” It’s widely documented that men and women think differently about love and relationships. You only have to look at erotic material designed for each sex. Women’s romance novels vs Men’s straight into hardcore porn. Men seem more able to compartmentalise – they can have sex and still love their wife and be 100% happy in their relationship. Women are more likely to cheat when don’t feel loved, appreciated or understood. This means that women are much more likely to have an emotional affair.

#2 Good Looking Opportunities

You would expect that the better looking a man or woman is, the more likely they are to have an affair. This is definitely true for men. The opportunities will come thicker and faster the better looking they are. It’s not true with women. Over the years, I’ve been surprised by cheating wives and now there’s research to back up my findings. A study by Google Scholar Jim McNulty found that when it comes to wives, the plainer looking they are, the more likely they are to have an affair.

#3 Up And Down

Because husbands are more likely to have an opportunistic affair, they will cheat with women who aren’t as good looking as their partner. Women tend to move up for someone who has better looks, better personality and more money or power.

#4 Are We Friends?

I’ve found that wives are much more likely to cheat with someone who is already part of their social group. I understand the reason behind this to be because women are more likely to have an emotional affair. They are much more likely to be ready to end their primary relationship.


There’s a stark contrast between the typical cheating husband and the adulterous wife. Men are opportunistic and tend to be happier in their primary relationship. Wives are readier to end their marriage and swap up for someone they perceive is better.

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Until next week,