Hey there, Steve here and welcome to this week’s private eye post where we’ll take a look at four common speech “slip-ups” we hear cheating spouses make time after time.
What people say and how they say it is really important when it comes to detecting a cheating partner. From the words they choose to describe events, to the words they leave out and how they frame what they’re saying—it all matters. It’s so powerful, there’s even a guy in the USA who teaches law enforcement and legal advisors something called “statement analysis”.
The big advantage of verbal information is you don’t need to be face-to-face with someone to hear if they’re being deceptive. I’ve mentioned in previous posts that research shows we’re all exposed to hundreds of lies every day, so it should be easy to practice hearing the slip-ups below.
Disclaimer: This information is for general educational purposes only and may not apply to all situations — everyone is unique after all. For help with an individual situation, please contact us or use the live chat feature [when available] on this page—the first call is free, and we may just be able to put your mind at rest!
#1 The “Voice Box”
This one can almost be comical if it weren’t for the serious nature of a typical investigation. When people lie, they experience physical changes. Blood pressure increases, cortisol and adrenaline are released, and they are “on edge.” They get a feeling of restriction in their drying mouth and as a result, they often speak in a weird way with lots of throat clearing activity. It’s almost like someone swapped out their voice box for another person’s.
#2 The “Let Me Ask You”
Wanna know the worst feeling in the world? It’s when you’re cheating on your partner, they’re having a normal conversation with you and are asking you questions. Nothing like an interrogation. Just the normal, day-to-day questions partner’s ask each other. Only because you’ve been cheating, you know that sooner or later you’re going to have to tell your wife/husband a lie. And lies, especially big ones, do not make anyone feel comfortable. So, what does the cheat do? That’s right, they switch the conversation by asking a question. They take control of the conversation in this way.
The innocent party asks something like, “How did your work meeting go?”
The cheat answers and asks a question to redirect the conversation, “Yeh, it was all good. How did you get on with _____”
#3 The “Talk About”
The “Talk About” slip-up is a little more difficult to notice but it follows on nicely from the “Let Me Ask You” slip-up. Cheats always want to avoid telling outright lies. That’s why they always deflect conversations wherever possible. And one of the best ways to deflect conversations is to talk about other people, rather than themselves. This means they are much less likely to have to tell a lie. The reason it’s more difficult to spot is that the cheat is omitting to talk about themselves, rather than making an error of speech. Try and look for the omission of first-person words such as “I”, “me” or “mine.”
#4 The “What Are You Up To”
Every action has a reason behind it. Some kind of motive. Humans are highly predictable like that. We’re all inherently lazy. We don’t just go and do stuff without having a reason why. And this verbal slip-up is as evil as they come because it can feel like you’re getting closer with your spouse. They make idle chit-chat with you, asking about your day, what you’re up to and any plans you have. The big problem? They weren’t asking to be nice and talk about you. They want to know where the time gaps are, so they can meet with their fling!
What people say is a highly accurate indicator of where their head really is. Take time to practice your verbal slip-up detection skills by really listening to what people say. Ask yourself why they chose to say things in the way they did. Before you know it, your lie detection skills will be off the charts.
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Until next week,