As Christmas is just around the corner, we here at Elite Investigations had a thought… Could we try to find the jolly but ever elusive Mr Santa Claus? He seems to know everything about us, but we know so little about him! We’ve put together some thoughts on how we would run the investigation, were you to hire us to find the mysterious Saint Nick.
The first issue with finding Santa Claus is his location. His last known location is the North Pole! Now normally we don’t travel outside of Australia for your average investigation, but as this is a special case we’ll make an exception. The North Pole is a pretty inhospitable place, so being prepared for the investigation is crucial. On top of our usual equipment of hidden cameras, night vision goggles and synchronised watches, we’ll need thermals, snow shoes and a good windbreaker. A good Private Detective is always prepared!
The next hurdle to overcome in tracking Santa is his disguise. He doesn’t exactly walk about in his big red coat, bellowing his jolly laugh in public. No, no, Santa Clause is much cleverer than that. When tracking someone who doesn’t want to be found, the key is to find out information that points to a location where you know they’re going to be. To find Santa, we’re thinking we’ll add a present to our wish list that we know his elves can’t make. Like a limited edition signed new Star Wars poster. Or maybe we’ll just use Google’s Santa Tracker. Either way, once we know he’s definitely going to be at a certain location, we can then run surveillance there to find him and follow him to find out where he’s been hiding out.
He sees you when you’re sleeping, and he knows when you’re awake. Herein lies our biggest obstacle – Santa seems to know everything! Luckily, we have a few tricks up our sleeves. We can use an ‘alibi’ so we can run surveillance on him without him suspecting us. For example, we could pretend to be out christmas shopping with our family, but secretly we’re watching out for a large jolly man with a long white beard. We also have a lot of experience with online research and access to databases. We also have specialty equipment to help us go by undetected.
However, in the end I doubt we’d be able to find Santa Clause. Santa has one thing on his side that event the best Private Eye doesn’t have. Magic. Sorry, we can’t compete with that. Looks like you’ll just have to do what everyone else does… wait for Christmas Eve and try to catch him coming down the chimney!
If you need a hand finding someone this Christmas (other than Santa Clause!) give our private detectives a call on 1300 721 715, or email firstname.lastname@example.org.