Steve here and welcome to this week’s private eye post.
As an investigator, I’ve heard it all. The shocking. The shameful. The downright rude and the emotionally upset.
And then there are the ‘dead giveaways.’
Those words and phrases which pretty much always mean there’s something going on.
First A Quick Warning: Just because he says these things doesn’t mean he is actually cheating – but it certainly warrants further investigation and examination.
1. New Lingo
They may start an ‘Interest Affair.’ What’s an interest affair? It’s when someone really gets into a new hobby, or subject, to the detriment of relationships or other parts of their life.
Every subject, group or hobby has a set of unique words and phrases associated with it. If someone is having an interest affair, why have they suddenly found ‘insert new subject’ so fascinating? Is it because they’ve been steered onto the topic by someone they have feelings for?
Even without an ‘interest affair’ taking place, new words and phrases are much more likely when your man is speaking with someone new. It can be a single word you’ve never heard them use before. Why did they suddenly use a brand new word?
2. Her Name
Talking about a woman by name in a new context should give rise to suspicion. Many men will tell innocent tales concerning the woman he’s having an affair with. It’s a way of dealing with guilt. It’s kind of like not telling a lie but not telling the whole truth either. Lying by omission.
3. Answering Questions With A Question
You say, ‘Did you go to XXX?’ and he says ‘Why would I do that?’.
Liars always avoid trying to tell lies and they also want to see how much you know before they have to reply. If this is just a one-off thing, it’s not necessarily something to be concerned with. If it happens repeatedly, your man is hiding something from you.
4. Are you accusing me of…
The classic fight fire with fire. This happens so often it’s scary. Your man will accuse you of doing exactly what he’s up to – having an affair.
5. I do not remember that
This one is a little more subtle. To use the words ‘do not’ in place of ‘don’t’ is a sure sign of deception. Liars do this to try and impress upon you that they really don’t remember something. This is the same as ‘haven’t’ and ‘have not’, ‘didn’t’ and ‘did not’ and ‘would not’ and ‘wouldn’t’ etc…
6. It’s not what it looks like
If you hear these words then you should be keenly suspicious. It’s usually exactly what it looks like it is. And the worse part is that your man knows what it looks like and hasn’t explained it to you before you find something out.
7. She’s just a friend
Of course she isn’t. Many emotional affairs start this way and why would your man even be making a new female friend?
If you have suspicions about your man, you may wish to take advantage of our cheating spouse service, where we can quickly find out for sure if your partner is cheating. If he isn’t, then there’s no harm done and he’s none the wiser. If he is, then you find out from us and can make sensible decisions on how to deal with it without emotional conflict.
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Until next week, Steve