Hey there, Steve here and welcome to this week’s private eye post where we’ll go through the top four signs of lying almost all liars display.
Now, 80% of my professional “liar experience” is from observing cheating spouses. The remaining 20% is from investigating workplace theft, insurance fraud and statement taking. The good thing about professional experience is that my team and I are actively looking for clues someone is being deceitful. This makes lie spotting much easier than when you might not be expecting someone to lie to you.
According to online sources, we’re each lied to an average 200 time every single day. That’s a lot of lies.
So, how come we don’t spot anywhere near this amount of lies? Well, it’s because the lies we get told are probably inconsequential to us. Put simply, we don’t care.
This leads me nicely into two points I want to make before I cover the signs of lying.
Point #1 — Lies are everywhere. So, to get some lie-spotting practice you just need to pay attention to the world around you.
Point #2 — Not caring means lies are often unimportant. When you care about something, such as your relationship, you will naturally tend towards preserving the thing you care about. This can lead to you dismissing signs of lying even when you observe them. It’s far better to get third party professional advice.
OK, let’s get into the good stuff…
Disclaimer: This information is for general educational purposes only and may not apply to all situations — everyone is unique after all. For help with an individual situation, please contact us —the first call is free, and we may just be able to put your mind at rest!
#1 Unnatural Pauses and Delaying Tactics
When people are telling the truth they just answer questions and keep conversations going. There’s a natural ebb and flow as words are exchanged and nothing feels unnatural in the way they talk with you.
Without a lot of practice, liars have a big problem doing this because they remember what they actually did, then they have to think of something to be able to make up their lies.
This means they either have longer than normal pauses before answering, or they have to employ delaying tactics. So, listen for “umm..” type phrases, or watch how many times they ask you to repeat your question.
#2 Hiding The Mouth or Eyes
It still amazes me how similar adult liars are to child liars. Kids often cover their mouths when they tell a lie. Adults do the same thing instinctively, but with an adult’s self-control, this can be transformed into face, chin or nose touching.
Eye shielding often manifests as lack of eye contact but some liars stare at the person they’re being deceptive with. Either way, the liar’s eye contact will usually change drastically compared with their baseline behaviour.
#3 Grooming Soothing Gestures
Lying about something we care about usually makes us anxious. The most common way we soothe our anxiety is to stroke ourselves (groom ourselves) or our immediate surroundings.
Good examples of grooming for men include adjusting clothing—ties, shirt cuffs or perhaps even glasses. For women, it might be straightening a skirt, or moving strands of hair.
Changing surroundings includes things like adjusting the position of nearby objects—phones, drinks, keys, bags and so on.
#4 Throat-clearing or swallowing
Liars often clear their throat or swallow hard before they speak. It’s a natural reaction to the anxiety we feel when lying. This is because our throats can become dry and uncomfortable. The same action after speaking isn’t nearly as significant.
Anxiety is the name of the game when it comes to lying. So, lie spotting is really as simple as spotting when someone is feeling uncomfortable and anxious. And that’s exactly what is being portrayed by the liar when they display these four signs of lying.
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Until next week,