Hey there, Steve here and welcome to this week’s private eye post, where I’m going to show you how to spot the start of your husband’s affair.
In a previous post about whether your wife or girlfriend is affair-ready, I talked about the “Negative-Positive.” The Negative-Positive is when your spouse has been irritable, down-in-the-dumps, or generally unhappy in their day-to-day communications with you, but then suddenly, almost overnight, you notice they are much happier.
What reason could there be for this?
Well, it’s true that there can be many reasons. He could have been under stress financially, or at work. Men are good at hiding things from their wife, because they don’t want to worry them. (Think of Gerald in the movie “The Full Monty”, whose wife doesn’t know he lost his job for months, until the receivers come to take away all his possessions!)
The thing to remember is that when things like this happen, the guys are usually pretty good at telling you why. They kind of “come clean” about what’s been going on. Even if they don’t tell you the whole truth, they’ll at least explain away the reasons for their recent unhappiness.
What if he doesn’t tell you? Well that’s the time you really need to be concerned. Something has definitely changed. And it could just be that he’s started an affair.
This change of happiness state is by far the most significant clue you can look for.
All the behaviour changes I mention below stem from this underlying shift in his perspective. And that’s why they’re such good indicators that your husband has started cheating on you.
Disclaimer: This information is for general educational purposes only and may not apply to all situations — everyone is unique after all. For help with an individual situation, please contact us or use the live chat feature [when available] on this page—the first call is free, and we may just be able to put your mind at rest!
#1 That’s Odd!
The first thing you might spot is that his behaviour has changed. He’s started doing new things, or things he hasn’t done in quite some time. This is usually a result of the attention he’s getting. He feels like he’s being noticed in “that way”, and it feels good. He may go out and buy new clothes, start wearing aftershave more, or work out.
#2 Who’s That Again?
One of the “affair-ready” signs you can look for is him mentioning a woman at work. There are a number of reasons why cheats do this, but it’s essentially a way of reducing their guilty feelings. Some husbands who are in long-term affairs will continue to talk about the person they’re doing the dirty with. But most will stop mentioning the other woman. So, if he’s been talking about a female work colleague for a few weeks, but you haven’t heard a peep about her for a while, then you should be concerned.
#3 Surprise Surprise!
Ironically, another way that men attempt to reduce the guilty feelings they possess is to make more of an effort with their wife. This can manifest in several ways: the cliche of buying you flowers, taking you out, or making more effort in the bedroom. On their own, these can simply be romantic gestures; attempts to improve the relationship. But if they are accompanied by clusters of other signs, then you might want to hire a private investigator to find out more.
#4 That Feels Different
In every relationship there are certain things partners do that can annoy you. If there are some things you know your man doesn’t like, and he used to make comments, but now he’s largely unconcerned about them, you should take note. This goes hand-in-hand with the newly positive outlook I mentioned earlier. Your relationship will feel different as a result, and this usually triggers some kind of gut instinct reaction. Trust your gut!
All these signs originate from him feeling better about himself, because of the attention he’s getting. Hss libido is on fire! If you’re not the one who’s making him feel this way, then someone else is. As the affair continues some of these signs will abate, so take notice of the changes as they occur, and you stand a good chance of spotting your husband’s affair as it starts.
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Until next week,